Independence Day Weekend

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I thought it would be a good time to re-post this story, as we near July 4th …

A few years ago, having become recently single (again), I decided to combine America’s Independence Day with Channon’s Independence Day Weekend.

To read the full story – click the tab SHORT STORIES on the header of the home page.

C. Lee Miller, author, blogger and poet. Providing inspiration, guidance and humor about being single.  To post comments, questions or suggestions visit: www.fromsingletosingleagain.com

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Girl Night Out

Girl Night Out

 

Since many of my friends and family live in different time zones, we have what we call phone dates. We usually e-mail or text to see when the other is available for a long conversation.

During a phone date with one of my cousins, also single, she shared with me an experience which I thought was truly inspiring, hence, I want to share that story with you.

So many of us spend quite a bit of time at home, cleaning, organizing, cooking, paying bills, sometimes it’s nice to get away from the routine, getting out and enjoying a different scene. Not always do we want gather the friends, sometimes you may just want to go. No schedule just put your shoes on, a little lip gloss and head out the door.

My cousin said she felt like going out, so off she went to a local watering hole to catch a football game on a large screen t.v., to hang out and relax. BY HERSELF!

She sat at the bar, ordered her cocktail of choice, made eye contact with a group of guys around her age, and settled in. Next to her at the bar was an older gentleman, with whom she had quite a long conversation with, so long that she never actually got to talk with the younger guys, but that was ok – she did not go out with any expectations and she was happy to lend her ear to an elder. She told me she felt if this were her dad or Uncle, she would want someone to pay attention to them instead of ‘chasing boys’. So she stayed put.

My cousins story inspired me, as I’ve never taken myself out before. I was impressed with her courage and self-confidence. I wanted to experience this for myself. Albeit, the thought of going out alone made me feel a little uncomfortable, so I called a girlfriend of mine, also single, who lives an hour away from me, but due to our schedules, we rarely get to see each other. I shared the story of my cousin being so brave as she was, taking herself out.

My girlfriend and I agreed we should do this sometime! She and I made a plan.We decided we would take ourselves out … she would go to a local bar by herself and on the same night and at the same time, I’d go to a place in my neighborhood which I felt comfortable alone.

We did cheat a little by texting each other as we sat at the bar, we described the people around us, said whether we talked with anyone, was the bartender cute, etc. We didn’t stay long, but it was a step we both felt in a direction we’d never been before.

It was such a wonderful experience; I could hardly wait for the next phone date with my cousin to let her know how much she inspired me. We still laugh and talk about our Girl Night Out.

Today, after having experienced this freedom, I take myself out often. I feel comfort in going out for sushi. I enjoy going back to the local bar in which this story began. I take a seat at my local coffee shop for breakfast; the possibilities are endless to what I’ll do now, alone.

Maybe after a day of shopping at the mall, where there is a restaurant attached, you’ll feel like setting down your shopping bags and taking a break, having an appetizer, relaxing, by yourself. Try it, you may feel liberated and proud of yourself, taking baby steps out of your comfort zone.

 

 

 

C. Lee Miller, author, blogger and poet. To share comments, questions or suggestions, go to: www.fromsingletosingleagain.com

 

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Tawanda Panties

A lady friend of mine, 20 years my senior, was going through a divorce. It was a rough patch in her life; she was neither the initiator nor the guilty party. We talked often over the phone and we visited when we could. We have traveled together over the years and each have a special place in the other’s heart.

I began to understand the difficulty she was experiencing when she had to face her soon-to-be ex-husband in court – the proceedings, the lawyers – it seemed a bit overwhelming for her. Imagining what my friend was going through (having never been married myself) I felt as though I should do something to give her a smile and a laugh.

Because we have traveled with each other, I knew her wardrobe style. Sure, I could have gotten her a scarf, or a purse or sent her new earrings, but what I was really searching for was not a tangible item – it was something more powerful.

Knowing her wardrobe style, I knew her preference of unders. Her comfort zone was wearing what we reference as ‘big girl panties’. I decided my gift to her would be a matching bra and thong set. There. That was it. She would smile. She would laugh.

She actually wore them! She wore them to court appearances; they gave her strength and courage. They gave her confidence. They were her TAWANDA PANTIES!

I shared the story of the unders with a close relative of mine who also went through a divorce. She understood how powerful something that seemed insignificant could be. Her profession encouraged her to wear flat, comfortable, sensible shoes. But those court days when she had to face her soon-to-be ex-husband, she wore high heels. Just a change in her shoe type gave her the confidence she needed.

My girlfriend no longers wears thongs and my relative no longer wears high heels, but when they needed a little boost of power, they found it.

If you’re going through a rough patch in your life, find something that can help push you through it, with your head held high, something that can give you the empowerment that you are looking for.

 

C.Lee Miller, author and blogger at www.fromsingletosingleagain.com
By sharing these short stories of inspiration, C. Lee Miller hopes to provide guidance and humor to those in search of it.

 

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Channon’s Independence Day Weekend

A few years ago, having become recently single (again), I decided to combine America’s Independence Day with Channon’s Independence Day Weekend.

I chose a location about three hours from home, made a reservation at a lodge in that town, booked myself a white-water rafting excursion for myself, by myself.
As I drove, listening to a book on CD, I enjoyed my own company. Stopped for coffee, stretched my legs, and thought, I have no one to take into consideration, but myself.
Upon checking into the lodge I disclosed to the owner that I was traveling alone and he assured me there was little to no crime in the village.
I visited my room then ventured over to the local watering hole. Once settled at the bar, I then told the bartender the same thing I told the lodge owner, I was alone. I met so many wonderful people that night, of all ages; an older gentleman that shared his sandwich with me, a group of bikers in for the weekend and several folks my own age just out to have a good time.
We were all enjoying each others stories and one guy, in particular, we’ll call him Al; asked what brings me to the village. I told him I was treating myself to a weekend of fun, which included a white-water rafting trip the next day. Lo and behold, yup I said it … lo & behold … the company that I randomly chose on-line was owned and operated by Al’s sister! He said he would join me the next day at my allotted time slot for rafting.
The next morning, I took a cup of coffee and walked around the town, in and out of shops; who did I run into? Yes, Al! He invited me to join him and about 10 of his family members for lunch, I accepted. The family, albeit surprised by an unscheduled guest, were welcoming and engaging.
Al and I walked to the raft company, feeling excited to embark on a wonderful adventure, we received our instructions and followed the guide.
The raging waters were fierce in areas and gentle in others, the sun was shining, there was warmth to the air and a chill to the spray. It was liberating!
As I prepared to leave the village and all the enjoyable activities I endured, I hugged Al good-bye, with a promise to stay in touch, although we never did, that was okay. I feel I don’t have to program every new persons phone number into my cell phone. It is what it is, it was what it was, and what it was was fun!
On my way back to the city, I called a close friend of mine, told her I’d be driving through her town early evening and was wondering if her and her family would be home. What I wanted was a Fourth of July bar-b-que dinner, what I received was an invitation to extend my adventurous weekend. She said she was packing to head out-of-town, by herself. She signed up for an early morning charity run a couple hours away and wanted to stay overnight in a town close to the fundraiser run. I asked her if she wanted company and she said, yes.
I drove the tip top of the speed limit and she waited for me to arrive at her house. I transferred my luggage into her convertible and off we went.
We woke up the next morning to the sound of the west coast ocean … again, liberating!
I had no one that I needed to check in with, no phone calls to make, unless I wanted to (to brag). I made all the decisions for myself and felt emotionally moved at how well I spoiled myself.

Over the years, I’ve found that you can spoil yourself for virtually no cost. It doesn’t have to be as elaborate as this adventure, it could be as simple as buying the latest fashion magazine and picking out a new hair-do. A cleaned house, a walk in the park, a new plant to nurture, looking through your photo albums curled up on the couch with a cup of tea, or a margarita! Talking on the phone, laughing with close friends and family members. If you host a pot-luck at your place, it would give you the opportunity to try a new recipe.
I bet you could find creative ways to ‘spoil’ yourself, just try!

 

C. Lee Miller, author, blogger and poet. Providing inspiration, guidance and humor about being single.  To post comments, questions or suggestions visit: www.fromsingletosingleagain.com

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